Passion.

What does the word even mean? It's so abstract and uncertain and yet everyone is looking for it. Find your passion in life, people keep saying. It's the thing that you love, the thing worth sacrificing, the thing that keeps you awake, that drives you, blah blah blah.

HOW DO I KNOW WHAT'S MY PASSION.

Some people are (VERY) lucky to have discovered their passions early. They have figured out what they want to do with their lives. But unfortunately, not me.

And the fegging modern society is expecting people to discover their passion at such young age, expecting them to study the course/major on something that they truly madly deeply passionate about. At the age of seventeen/eighteen/nineteen, you're expected to determine how you want to live the next twenty/thirty/forty years of your lives.

Easy-peasy, huh.

Wake me up when December comes?

Cus that's when my holiday begins, and I have seven months of freedom. The thought of December keeps me alive. Oh, the things I would do. It makes me smile to myself (Yes, I am smiling as I write this.)


BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

As the saying(s) go,

"no pain, no gain"
"to get to the highs, there will always be lows"
"life is full of ups and downs"

et cetera, et cetera. (OH how I love the sound of this word. et cetera. it sounds so classy. "etc" just downgrades the word like ten levels lower.)

I digress. Pardon me.


So now I'm in the stage of "pain" a.k.a. "lows" a.k.a. "downs." And it is really draining that I just... can't describe it. Preliminary exams, A'levels, University applications, SAT Subject Tests, they're all just... BAMM, coming right to my face at the same time.

And look at me now. I'm blogging. Clearly the stress has reached the "PRO" level. PROcrastination.


Now I'm so drained yet so bloated because of my late dinner (supper?) that I can't sleep. Yay.


BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.


I shall stop whining and focus on December instead. The word "yay" wouldn't sound sarcastic anymore by then!



Hang in there, self. You can do this. Oh, I mean I can do this. I CAN.