"ANTEVASIN" - In betweener

HEY! it's been awhile since the last time I posted. well, the title - ANTEVASIN, if youre wondering, means "in betweener", or literally: one who lives in the border in sanskrit.

I got this word from a book, EAT PRAY LOVE. A nice book, though it's a bit tedious in some parts.
So let me explain something about the word, which I took from the book.

An antevasin lives in sight of both worlds, and he/she looks towards the unknown part. According to the literal translation, he/she is a scholar, not a villager, but not the one living deep in the unexplored woods either.

As in the modern world, it means living on the line between your old thinking and your new understanding, and always in state of learning.
As he/she advances forward in his/her studies and realisations, the border is always moving.

Well, I think this word describes me in some ways. Not really about the fact that I'm a scholar, but more that the in-betweener thingy.

I've spent so much time during my leisure times wondering what I'm supposed to be, what I wanna be, and what things I'm good at, but...

I'm not any of those people who are super talented, nor am I an indifferent idiot.
I'm not the kind of ingenious artist, nor am I a person with no sense of art.
I'm not a prodigious musician, nor am I a person with no music understanding.
I'm not an extrovert who is able to adapt everywhere, nor am I an introvert who can't socialise.
I'm not the type of person who takes things very seriously, nor am I a type of person who is super laid back.
I'm not a person who is extremely devoted to GOD and a religious girl who desires to be a nun, nor am I an atheist that have no faith in any gods.


"I'm just a slippery antevasin, betwixt and between, a student on the ever-shifting border near the wonderful, scary forest of the new." - Elizabeth Gilbert.