Hello there, stranger!

Wow, finally we talk to each other, huh. The urge to poke your shoulder and say hi is rily tempting! But hey, I have manners. So here I am, talking to you! Yes, you! Any stranger doing blogwalking, perhaps. Or you, anyone I met on the street or at the mall today. Or you, who sat in front of me in the church, or maybe behind me. Errrr or YOU! A schoolmate I always bump into when walking during recess but never talk! Or maybe you, someone getting on the same MRT or bus as I do!

I'd like to say, MERRY CHRISTMAS! Maybe we'll meet again Till then, have a nice life! :)

 Lotsa love, egi.



Okay, today's recipient of the letter is kinda... unusual, huh. I was expecting something else. But phew, here it is.

Hi there, dreams.

I have a few questions. Why can't I choose which one I want to see tonight? Or the next night? And the next next night?

And why some of you made me want to stay in bed all day, while others made me want to get up as soon as it flashed through my mind?

Lastly, why must you be unreal? I want you to beat that guy called reality. He's mean. I don't like him. He bites, he stabs me not from the back, but right on my chest. He punches me on my face, sometimes. That hurts.

And this place called dreamland. Your city, huh? I want to be there. Can you send me a ticket to go there?

Looking forward to hearing your answers. And the ticket.

Cheers, egi.



Dear sisssses,

Erm. This is super awkward.

Firstly, about the fights and arguments we had. I'm sorry. I'm selfish sometimes. i'm just easily annoyed. sorry about that, kay. It's just hard being the oldest. sigh. but i'm doing my best, huh.

Anyways. This year was different. huge difference. I'm far far away in singapore, and you're back home. I was afraid that it would change everything, that we won't be as close as we were, and all that. But hey, my fear was stupid and mythical! We're still close as ever!

Here's something I'd like to say to you.

* Good luck in reaching your dreams, you can do it. Even if you fail, keep on fighting, cus it's not the end of the world, trust me. And be nice, your teachers were mine, too. Hahahahahas ;).

** And for you, little one, enjoy your life. Childhood was the awesome-st time ever. Have fun!

Yeah, it's the three of us against the world :).

I'm not saying this often, and you two know that. Emmm. I love you!



(okay I decided to continue my 30 letters project. Can't promise that I'll do this daily, sorry about that. but I'll try my best to complete this project.)

Dear Crush,

It's been such a nice time of my life to know you.
I'm sorry if I had been mean or pushy or whatever once.
I've never thought that I would fall
How's your life? Having fun?

Errr happy holidays.




December is magical. Trust me. This month is unique, with Christmas, the end of the year, and school holidays in it.

For those of you reading harry potter, you must be familiar with the title.

YEESHHH BUTTERBEER! The drink they have in three broomsticks and hogshead. When reading the book, I was super curious about the taste of this drink. I was dying to try it.

Well, I've told you that this month is magical.

Look what I found in the internet!

AAAAA I'm sooooo eggcited! I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO TRY THIS OUT SOON! Oh and you should try this too! This drink is top rated in the books. lol :D.

Well, i'm not really sure if this recipe would work, but it worths a try! Cheers! :)

*maybe you can change the ice cream flavour to vanilla or something else if you can't find the butterscotch flavour! :)
**fyi, one cup is.... around 235ml.
***butter extract. you can find it in baking shops.

And anyways. Have a magical December!



Well I wanted to hibernate, but I think not this blog. I love this much more than my twitter account!

Well oops, you read me right, I'm hibernating my twitter account, till after Christmas! Why? Yes, good question. I just want to pull myself out of the crowd, back to the basic such as my blog, my tumblr account (yes I'm on tumblr! it's Err I know it's a bit late, but heeey I'm a newbie and proud of it!), MSN, and facebook (well, this one is actually crowder than twitter, but I'd like to catchup with some people there, and greet those having birthdays!)


Anyways. Let's go back to the title!

YES BABY CHRISTMAS IS COMING! I always loooooove Christmas more than anything. Well, not more than my birthday. Emm. Okay.

So it's officially my second most favourite day of the year! Why? For this thing, Why is not a really good question. I think everyone who favours Christmas has the same reason as I do.

I like the Christmas decoration, the red and green combination, the Christmas trees, the Christmas songs, the Christmas eve mass at the church, the birth of Jesus, the food, the legends about Santa Claus's workshop and the elfs, creating wishlist, the presents, and yes, of course, the SPIRIT!

         Talking about decoration and trees, it's such a sad thing that I'm not putting a tree this year :(.
Last year I helped my aunt and uncle putting up and decorating a tree, and my batchmates and I, we put up our own tree in the hostel! And we had this small committee, making a stable, complete with all the statues of baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the angels, and the shepherds!

But this year, I'm not spending my november and december in singapore! Which is a totally great thing, of course, but sadly, in here, my Christmas tree is kinda... spoiled and broken down. I asked my mum about buying a new one, but she said there was no space that is big enough to store it. So my house is kinda plain for this year's Christmas, but that's okay! We still have the SPIRIT. YEAAAAH.

          Talking about... hmm lemme think. the songs! Aaah I love listening to Christmas songs.

And the good thing is that... they're everywhere this month! Yeay :D

They're so calming and they somehow increase your SPIRIT. My favourite song is Winter Wonderland, the Jason Mraz's version! And White Christmas, Michael Buble's version. Ooh and there's this song which I'm not so sure what the title is, the lyrics are like this "Long time ago, in Bethlehem, the holy Bible said // Mary's boy child, Jesus Christ // was born on Christmas day" Well, that's the lyrics, if I'm not mistaken. It's such a nice song, I had a cassette of Christmas songs, with that song in it. However, the thing is broken now. Oh well, I'm gonna look for that song later! ;).

           The next I'm gonna talk about is the mass. There's a particular mass I've never missed for years.

It's the Christmas Eve mass! At my church, at 9 PM.

It finished minutes before 12, that's why I love it. Because it's so Christmas-Eve-ish! Lol :) I started going to this mass when I was in 4th grade of primary. My neighbours and my parents, they were in charge of the Christmas masses that year. And four children, including me, were to perform as angels! Man, that was the most feminine Christmas of my life, I guess. I was to wear white dress, plus the white wings, and dance to the songs sung by the choir. I remember, it was "Slamat slamat datang, Yesus Tuhanku." We were performing at the 5PM mass, the first Christmas Eve mass. After performing, we got out, and had our dinner. At 9PM, I went back for the second mass. The mass was so solemn, and aah, the choirs are always the best. They always succeed to instill such a great SPIRIT. I decided that I'm gonna go again in the next years! Well, I do, till last year! :)

            The FOOOOOOOOD. OHHH My favourite. Let's talk about this year's plan. My mum plans to cook lamb chops and roasted chicken for the dinner! And she's thinking about baking brownies and some other kind of cakes (and I'm still trying to convince her to do ;)) Let's have some SPIRIT on the food, baby! :9.

            Ahh, the legend. I've always believed in Santa Claus, you know. just like other innocent, naive, kiddos. But at age of, errr, I can't remember, I figured out that it was my parents who have always been buying me presents.

That year, they were buying me and my sister bicylce. Their plan of convincing us that it was Santa Claus who bought it was almost successful. Unfortunately, they left the warranty card on the bike. My mum's name was on it. Sigh. Reality hurts, man.

However, I'm thankful indeed, that my parents instilled the Santa Claus image in my sisters and me when we were young. We were such terrified kiddos when Christmas was approaching. We would try our very best to behave well, so that we would not be kidnapped by Zwarte Pieten or Black Pete. There was a time when my sister was a crybaby, and one day when we went to a mall, we met this black pete guy. My mum talked to this guy, and bring this guy to my crying sis. After talking for a few minutes, my sis suddenly stopped crying, and after that, she was too scared to cry. Yes, my mum is -.-, but we were even more -.-

Yet heey! We grew in such a great Christmas SPIRIT, especially in the morning, when we ran all the way to the tree, and discovered that we had got a lot of presents. We would thank our parents and Santa Claus. Yes, we were naive, extremely naive, I know.

           Years after that, my sisters and I decided that, Hey, we should exchange presents! If Santa Claus does not exist, so why don't we, yes, we, become Santa Claus ourselves! So yeah, we have this habit of writing our wishlists, and exchanging it with each other. Before writing them down, we consider the budget. Then each of us will look through the list, and choose one thing that we would like to buy. Then we wrap them, hide them, and give them in the Christmas morning! It's always interesting, and we're always as excited as little toddlers when we're writing down our wishlist, buying each other's presents, and (of course) opening the presents! Yeah baby the SPIRIT's on us! :)

Last but not least, the SPIRIT. Hmm, I don't think I need to talk about it again, as it's mentioned all throughout this post. Yes, you're right.

The CHRISTMAS SPIRIT is actually everywhere.
It's in you. In me. In all of us.

And it's better if we share it with everyone, isn't it? That, is why I'm sharing my experiences, my burning SPIRIT of Christmas, right now with you guys! Well, you can freely do what my family do, too! Cook some lamb chops, roasted chick, bake some cakes, exchange some presents, put up a Christmas tree and  guess what. Perhaps in the future, I'd like to tell my kiddos that Santa Claus exists! :).



Oh schweet. My project thingy is officially an epic FAYYYYYL-lure. it doesn't even consist of more than five friggin letters. I beg you my apology.

So anyways. I'm now back home! Yes. For two fucking months. Well it's not two full months, though, but still, it's the longest holiday I get this year. I'm gonna be in Indonesia till THE FIRST OF JANUARY, BABYYYYYY.

Okay, so let's talk about FAILURE.

a thing that no one wants to happen in their lives, of course it is. But sadly, some wants it to happen in others' lives. Others, as in, enemies and rivals, perhaps. For myself, failure has been, I may say, my sweet companion throughout this whole year.

However, as a companion, it makes me learn, too. I learnt that failure is only a small rock on my way, which I can jump over easily, with enough determination and perseverance. It may hurt when you hit the rock, but after that pain, you can't deny that you're tougher. You're stronger, and you're ready to face another rock. And perhaps, you'd prepare yourself with buffers, too.

Aah, failure.


Dear mum and dad.

thanks for motivating me, and encouraging me to keep moving forward. thanks for being so patient for my homesickness and my mood swings. thanks for being so supportive and affectionate. thanks for being a great friend, too.

thanks for accepting my middling scores and marks. thanks for cheering me up when I cried. thanks for telling me jokes to make me laugh.

to mum: thanks for sending me those daily bread, they're wonderful. and thanks for being so "gawulsszsz". you're the best.
to dad: thanks for being so patient and caring about my issues, even though sometimes I've been very irritating. you're the best.

and i'm very sorry if I had hurt both of you in any ways before.

i love you.

egi :).


Dear besties,

thanks for being in my life. I mean it, THANKYOU.

If you think that I haven't been thanking you enough for your existence in my life, I really apologise. I wish I had been telling you more often ._. I agree with what my friend once said, that people can actually have more than one best friend. Yes, I have quite an amount of best friends. Cos my definition of best friend is

"a person who stays by your side, and with whom you feel that your life is colourful and meaningful."

Best friends are not necessarily the ones who is always with you anytime, as I learnt that distance does not hamper the relationship between us. And they are not necessarily the ones whom I have known for years, as I learnt that best friends could appear out of nowhere, enter your life, and in a blast of days they can be a big part of your life.

Okay, enough with my opinion. In short, I have more than one best friend, okay.

I'd like to thank you, yes, YOU, for these things.

*Thanks for being such a wonderful listener when I needed someone to babble and ramble to. thankyou!
*Thanks for always motivating me, cheering me up, convincing me that my life is worth fighting for, and telling me not to give up. you're the reason why I'm still surviving here at the moment. thankyou :).
*Thanks for confiding me with your secrets and stories, I'm thankful that you trust me with your problems and everything. Thankyou :).
*Thanks for all the silly moments, for doing stupid things together, laughing out loud with me, rolling on the floor with me, giggling bimbotically with me, and joking idiotically with me. You colour my life :).
*Thanks for giving me solutions for my problems. Thanks for telling me that it is not the end of the world, and thanks for staying as my friend even though I'm far far away from you (for you who lives back in Indonesia), even though I'm such a bad friend that I rarely call you. Every short message you sent me is priceless. Thankyou :).

And I'd like to say sorry, too.

*(to those in Indonesia) Sorry for being such a bad friend, for not giving you birthday presents on time, for not attending your birthday party, for not being by your side when you've got problems, for not helping you when you've got difficulties or whatever, for not hanging out with you when you were bored and needed someone to go out with. I'm sorry :(.
*Sorry for being such an incapable psychologist, as I often could not come up with solutions for your problems, so I could only pat your back and say "cheer up"
*Sorry for having such a terrible mood swing, that I sometimes look so miserable and annoying, and I could not be a nice friend.
*Sorry for being such a selfish and tactless person sometimes, and for not being able to react appropriately when you tell me your stories.

Okay. I think that is all. But please, do remember. I love you, no matter what. Even though you didn't think that I am your best friend, that is totally okay. Everyone's got different opinion about what best friend means, anyway :).




Yo fellow bloggers! Exams are over, and the only things blocking my way to total freedom are Science Practical Assessments or SPAs (super ironic, right, "spa" is supposed to be relaxing. but it is a freaking practical test here in singapore ._.) and my o'level mother tounge exam.

So I decided to do this project here in my blog, which I found in the internet, and which one of my friend tenny has already been doing it.

The project is called 30 letters project. As it clearly states, I'm going to write 30 letters to different parties in my life, one each day. It may be directed to you! Yes, you!

So, stay tuned ;).

lovesssssss, egi.



I've been fighting and spending sleepless nights and struggling with my macbook and writing 78 messages for my 78 seniors and it was exam period, too. I was so scaaaaaared that they wouldnt enjoy the farewell, especially the JC2s, who have some "high expectations" and high "tendency" to "boo" us away.

well, I know that it wasn't perfect, but they enjoyed it. That's all we (the committees) want :).

Costumes on! :).

THE JC2s, plus anisa.

the JC2s TERRORISTS FREEDOM FIGHTERS! They're super creative! look at the suicide bombers costume! There are redoxons and freaking calculators! HAHAHAHA :D

the lovely senioressssss

my batchmatesssss + anisa! (she's such a superstar that night hahaha)

Rena with the terrorist :)

another pics of my seniors! their costumes are EPIC! <3.

MY SISTAAAAA <3<3<3. Gonna miss youuuuuu :(.

here are the sec 4s.

OMG I'll surely miss them all! Even tho it's been only a year, I feel like having a second family here in CJCH. I seriously can't imagine how hostel life would be without such seniors like them.

And next year, I am the senior. That would feel super weird, huh.

Hiks. I'm speechless. All of you are the best seniors one could ever ask, bener deh.

Thank you for everything. Udah mau ngajarin gue disaat otak gue nge-lag, udah mau memotivasi gue supaya lebih kiasu dan jadi the ultimate mugger, udah mau menghibur gue disaat gue down atau stress atau sedih atau kangen rumah, udah mau bagi-bagi makanan ke gue, udah mau menggossip bersama gue, udah mau dengerin gue ngoceh sampe ngalor ngidul, udah mau curhat ke gue, dan masih banyak lagi.

I really appreciate everything that you guys have done to me, even by just smiling and saying hello when we met at the corridors or whatever. You guys are the funniest, friendliest, nicest, cutest, most caring, and sweetest seniors eveerrrrrrrr.

You've coloured my life. You make me feel normal. You make me feel at home :).

All the best for all of you, seniorsss. Remember that you still have a home here, in CJCH :''''').



Thanks to end of year exams, for making me experiencing brain retardation. rawrrrr.


I've been an ultimate liar in telling what and how I feel to others. I must admit, that I don't really feel comfortable telling a friend that I have a crush, or I hate you, or I'm homesick, or I want you to shut up, I love you, I like your style, or all sorts of feelings that people tell to each other.

I may be a tweeter, and I write a lot on it, and I have a blog in which I write about myself, but I'm a sucker when it comes to feelings. A total sucker.

Especially when I'm mad, I prefer to swallow them down. Well, it doesn't work really well nowadays. I just can't stand those anger feelings sometimes, and all I wanted was to blow them up, and let them away. However, I just can't. Okay, you can tell me I'm a coward, stupid disgusting hypocrite or whatever.

So now, I just keep them to myself, stay quiet, and listened to songs in my ipod.

Hmm, perhaps another problem is that I don't have someone to talk to. Well, I have friends here, don't get me wrong, but I haven't found the one whom I can't confide all my darkest secrets which I'm not comfortable to share with casual acquaintances, talk about things that burden me, or simply just do silly things together with greatest pleasure as if what we do is the most extraordinary thing on earth.


I apologise if my blabber is getting off the senses. Or if my english is not understandable, or if it's mistaken in any ways.

I'm getting to realise that I'm such a terrible blogger.

"ANTEVASIN" - In betweener

HEY! it's been awhile since the last time I posted. well, the title - ANTEVASIN, if youre wondering, means "in betweener", or literally: one who lives in the border in sanskrit.

I got this word from a book, EAT PRAY LOVE. A nice book, though it's a bit tedious in some parts.
So let me explain something about the word, which I took from the book.

An antevasin lives in sight of both worlds, and he/she looks towards the unknown part. According to the literal translation, he/she is a scholar, not a villager, but not the one living deep in the unexplored woods either.

As in the modern world, it means living on the line between your old thinking and your new understanding, and always in state of learning.
As he/she advances forward in his/her studies and realisations, the border is always moving.

Well, I think this word describes me in some ways. Not really about the fact that I'm a scholar, but more that the in-betweener thingy.

I've spent so much time during my leisure times wondering what I'm supposed to be, what I wanna be, and what things I'm good at, but...

I'm not any of those people who are super talented, nor am I an indifferent idiot.
I'm not the kind of ingenious artist, nor am I a person with no sense of art.
I'm not a prodigious musician, nor am I a person with no music understanding.
I'm not an extrovert who is able to adapt everywhere, nor am I an introvert who can't socialise.
I'm not the type of person who takes things very seriously, nor am I a type of person who is super laid back.
I'm not a person who is extremely devoted to GOD and a religious girl who desires to be a nun, nor am I an atheist that have no faith in any gods.


"I'm just a slippery antevasin, betwixt and between, a student on the ever-shifting border near the wonderful, scary forest of the new." - Elizabeth Gilbert.


I know it's a bit too late, but nevermind, I'm just posting for fun ;D
Anyway, these photos were taken from -- if you're super curious and can't get enough of the worldcup fever, go visit the website! it's duper awesome.

Me myself? I support HOLLAND, from 2006! Well, cant wait till brazil 2014! :D:D:D

Well, enjoy these photos!




From TOP: Kuyt, Sneijder, Huntelaar, Robben, Van Persie :)
Left to Right: Pique, Puyol, Villa, Xavi

Enough for now! See you in 2014 ;);).


Hi, this is me. I'm... exhausted. stressed. Yes, it's unavoidable. Everybody I know is kinda stressed here. Wanna know some reasons why? Here, let me introduce you the timetable of my days.

0545 - alarm rings
0600 - shower time
0610 - a short nap
0630 - wakey wakey.
0645 - breakfast
0710 - go to school: walk down through the college, walk through the flyover, wait for the bus, hop on bus for two stops, walk through apartments, and finally, arrive at school.
0730 - morning assembly: listen to announcement, singapore's national anthem and pledge, christian hymn, morning prayer.
0750 - lessons start -.-
around 1310-1430 - lessons end
1400 - english tuition till 4pm (monday)
1500 - Red Cross (sigh -.-) till 6pm or later (tuesday)
1500 - Higher malay lessons till 5pm (wednesday-friday)
1700-1800 or later - arrive at hostel, shower, (if there is time, a short nap), dinner
1900 - settling down: continue the nap, tidying things up, blablabla.
2000-2200 - prep time: it means four words, study& do your homework(sssss).
2200 - hostel comm meeting, or if there is no meeting, then you can relax a bit.
2300 - lights out. darky darky. brush teeth, wash feet, pee.
2330/2400 - good night world.

This thing repeats on the all weekdays. Now you have something in your mind right, about how monotone my life is. maybe you'll ask, what about weekends?

these recent weekends, my "lovely" CCA (co-curricular activity), red cross, have been invading my life. we've got trainings and trainings and tests and blabla on saturday, from morning till noon. if I'm lucky, there are no more disturbance for my weekend.

For now, my only wishes are:

*more sleep
*less red cross
*my family
*my friends
and most of all: home :(.


:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(. My life was a LOT better with them, the people I really-really-really HATE.

I hate them for making me very eager and looking forward to go out with them, spending not only few hours, but the whole day.

I hate them for not wanting to go back to this friggin place after that.

 I hate them for addicting me to go out with them every time I'm back home. We'll go out, anywhere is okay. We'll talk talk talk, take pics take pics take pics. HAHA.


I hate them for making me miss junior high school so bad.

I hate them because they make me laugh every time I remembered those silly things we did together.


I hate them for there are too many photos to upload every time I went out with them.

But what I hate the most is that because I REALLY LOVE THEM SO MUCH! I have to spare some spaces in my heart for them! :*:*


I just realised that I'm such a slackish blogger. And due to that reason, my blog's going nowhere. Sheesh. But hey, I'm doing my best here now to be a better blogger! So here's another post.

Well finally, after a quite-torturing three month period in singapore, I'm finally home again. YES, for goodness sake, I'm home. Life's back to normal here at home. However, unfortunately I must be back on thursday. yes, this friggin thursday 10th of june. So here are my short days at home, and I'm trying all the best I can to live them to the fullest :).

Lately, I had been on some activities. Some are quite dull, some are awesome, some gave me new friends, some strengthened the bonds with existing friends, some is about a friend who's leaving, and etcetra etcetra.
Anyway, I've provided you guys some photos to tell you guys about the activities, and also, to relax your eyes. Let's start from the latest ones.

Here goes THURAIN, my group during Famine Camp on last 4-5 june. Believe it or not, we passed 30 HOURS without any food. Yes, you read me right, THIRTY HOURS. I must admit that I felt hungry, but then I survived. Hahaha. I feel rily proud about this thing, since I've never done any fasting for the last 16 years of my life. From that camp, I got 30 hours CIP. Man, I'm so proud of it.

Ohh, and my group is damn fun! Well, sometimes I felt kinda bored of the activities and everything, but they cheered me up with some singaporean jokes, random words about cheesefries, and we kept on yelling "They're hungry, but I'm starving!" --- which is a complete contrast from the motto of the camp, "I'm hungry, but they're starving." Even though I barely knew them, it seems like we've been friends for a long time! HAHA :).

Anyway, if you're wondering what is this camp all about, and why the hell we want to starve for 30 hours, check the website: :).


Let's move further back. On the first day of holiday, 28 may, my class had an outing to sentosa! Yes, my smartypanties classmates and I went to vivocity, and took monorails to the island. Unfortunately, my bloody camera ran out of battery even before we got on the island itself! Dumb me, I forgot to charge it ._. Thanks to my friends, however, I still got the photos on the island! Heehee :).

These are my classmates from INDONESIA! actually, there are eight of us, but anastasia and claudia were not there :/. from left to right: ida, stephanie, me, natalia, michelle, claudy.

And these are my other classmates! Actually there are 40 of us in a class, but some were not coming to the outing, and some others are not joining the picture-taking. but nevermind, THREEONE ROCKS :D.


Let's move another few steps back. On sunday, 23 may, one of my "sisters" was leaving. With leaving, it means that she's terminating from the scholarship, and not staying in CJ anymore. As some of you may know, I've been in singapore for 6 months. These six months rily tighten bonds between me and others staying with me in the hostel. We're like a family. I've got lots of sisters and brothers altogether. We celebrate birthdays, we spend days and nights together, we talk, laugh, cry, go out, watch movies, church, and doing all stuff together. But then, one is leaving. Her name's delania, or dela, for short. She's one of the many sisters I have there. Her room's used to be in front of mine.

So on that day, we went out to changi to "send her home". There are quite a number of us, and we chattered as we go by MRT all the way to the airport. From the time we left the hostel to the time before she left for boarding, we took some photos.

Well, if you're wondering what on earth is that, They're supposed to be read D-E-L-A. Hahahaha. from left to right: claudia (audi), elizabeth (eliz), ME, and claudy :).

Ohh, here is one of the photos that we gave to dela as the "last present". Hihi, on the left is nael, and dela's on the right ;).

There she goes. We miss you, dela!


Well, that's all for now. Post to you later! :).